Most people, ok everyone that knows me well, knows that I have a tendency to be a negative person, especially when it comes to myself. About a year ago, I decided to start making some changes in order to have a more positive outlook on myself. After all, i was turning 30 and nowhere close to where I wanted to be at this age.
First of all, I was extremely insecure about my weight. I never wanted to go anywhere because I didn't have anything "cute" to wear. I didn't have anything cute to wear because I hated shopping. I hated shopping because I couldn't find any clothes that I liked that came in my size. And when I did find something that fit, I was disgusted by how big the clothes were. Needless to say, I would end up leaving the store with nothing. Thankfully, I decided I was sick of feeling that way. I started exercising, eating better, and became extremely active. Now, I am 75 pounds lighter and far more happy than I was a year ago. I am currently working toward being another 25 pounds lighter & enjoying a nice little shopping spree to celebrate my accomplishment :)
Another change that I made for the best was in my career. I have always enjoyed helping people anyway that I can. My mother has told me for as long as I can remember that I should be a nurse. My answer was always, no! Mostly because of having to deal with needles, blood & other bodily fluids. My how things have changed. I am currently a nursing assistant & get great satisfaction out of my job. I deal with things on a daily basis that I never dreamt of being able to handle. A few months ago, I developed a hunger for more. While in class, I found myself drawn to more intense parts of my Fundamental of Nursing book. And that's when it hit me....I want to be a nurse. I not only want to make a difference in people's lives, I want to save them. Yes, I know most people my age had decided what they wanted to be when they grew up, years ago. Luckily for me, I don't like being like everyone else :) It's crazy how God works things out.
My last statement leads me to my most important change since becoming 30. Me being the control freak that I am, has always struggled with letting go & letting God. A little while ago,I was dealt something that I never saw coming. Something that caused me a great deal of disappointment. But it was something that got my attention. It broke me & made me extremely weak & forced me to turn to the one person that has always been there...even when I didn't acknowledge His presence. It was in that moment that I finally "let go". I gave it all to Him. Words cannot describe the peace that overcame my entire being. I felt a tremendous weight had been lifted off me & now, I can honestly say that my 30 something's are to be my best years yet, simply because of who is now in control.
If you are like me, you feel the need to be in control of everything & have your hand constantly going to do your best at making sure that everything happens the way you want it to. The reality of it is, it's not about YOUR want, it's about HIS will. His will is far greater for me than anything I could ever accomplish on my own. And the beauty of achieving His will is, get this, by letting go and being still.
Exodus 14:14 NIV "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Hey mindy..... great job on first blog.. proud of ya girl.. appreciate who you are and the stand in life you have taken. You are the WALK IT AND TALK IT part of being a professed Christian that the world needs to see. You know through the beginnings of this first blog that you will have enemies made especially satan. Keep the faith and stand strong.. love ya girl.. Jeremiah 29:11.
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